I feel better in the hads and woulds, but I live in the nows and thens. I'm so "in-the-box" with my writing, but I think most people are comfortable with that. Then I dream a phrase like this one and feel so proud to have an outside the box moment. No one else may notice, but every time it happens I'm smiling.
I'm reading Carol Emshwiller's short stories. They don't make adjectives for how you feel when you read her stories. My brain understands and disconcerts me. Terry Bisson explained beautifully how I feel about Emshwiller's writing : [I am] "disappointed that she wrote them, not I."